How should one treat one's husband or wife?
Chapter 2

مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ (سورۃ الروم, آية 21)

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. (Surah 30, Verse 21)

Sami and Rim are a young couple who have been married for one year. They squabble constantly and once, after a quarrel, Rim returned to her parents' house. This infuriated Sami and he decided not to bring her back. He refused to listen to her or to hear how she felt or to appease her. Rim, for her part, was very hurt by Sami's conduct because he did not enquire about her or bother to come to see her.

Rim's parents tried to persuade her to return home, talk to Sami and make peace with him, but she refused. She wanted Sami to come to her and plead with her to return. Her parents talked to Sami and asked him to come but he refused. Finally, the mother turned to a family guidance counselor for advice on how to solve the problem., The counselor asked Rim and Sami to come for a session and gave them permission to give full rein to their emotions and tell him what bothered each of them about the other. Then he asked each of them to list the qualities they loved in the other. "Not everything in life is perfect," he said, "and you can live together if each of you understands and loves the other." Finally, he opened the Quran at Surah 30 and read them Verse 21: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."

When Rim and Sami returned home, they recalled the injunction of "love and mercy" which the Quran commands and acted accordingly.

Explanation: This precious verse from the Quran should perhaps be inscribed on the wall in the offices of family counselors. It expresses the essence of a healthy relationship between man and woman: love and mercy. And if couples inscribed this same verse on the wall of their bedroom, they could solve many of their problems thereby. Does it not also describe the essence of modern Western psychology, which echoes basic tenets in the Quran? Does not the phrase "And he has put love and mercy between your hearts" constitute a clear statement of the need for symmetry in marital relations? equality of emotion must precede all other forms of equality between man and woman.