Home Quranet Chapter 5 Is it permissible for a father to be miserly towards his family
Is it permissible for a father to be miserly towards his family
Chapter 5

لاَّ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِن طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاء مَا لَمْ تَمَسُّوهُنُّ أَوْ تَفْرِضُواْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَة وَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ عَلَى الْمُوسِعِ قَدَرُهُ وَعَلَى الْمُقْتِرِ قَدْرُهُ مَتَاعًا بِالْمَعْرُوفِ حَقًّا عَلَى الْمُحْسِنِينَ (سورۃ البقرة, آيۃ 236)

There is no blame on you if ye divorce women before consummation or the fixation of their dower; but bestow on them (a suitable gift), the wealthy according to his means, and the poor according to his means; a gift of a reasonable amount is due from those who wish to do the right thing. (Surah 2, Verse 236)

 

Rima has three children and is devoted to them and tends them as mothers do and spares no effort on behalf of them and her husband and home. Towards the end of the school year, hr son Samir, who is in the first grade, asked her to accompany him on the school's annual trip. It is customary for parents and children to go together but Rima refused. It was the first time she had disappointed her son on such an important matter. She invented all kinds of excuses and promised that next year she would go on the trip with him. Samir told his teacher that his mother could not come but said he did not know the reason. The teacher asked the mother to come for a talk but the mother did not come to the scheduled meeting. When the teacher telephoned Rima to ask why she was not coming, Rima gave various excuses, she was busy, she had other important things to do that day etc. The teacher was not convinced and asked to visit her at home for a tete a tete. When she entered the house, she immediately understood Rima's situation. The house lacked such basic items as a refrigerator and a table. Rima told her that she did not have the money for the trip, not to mention money for clothes and shoes so that she could look like the other mothers. She said she was embarrassed because of her shabby appearance. The teacher realized that the problem was not lack of money; the family was not poor. Her husband was simply a miser and kept all his money for himself.

 

The teacher approached the psychological service for aid in solving the problem. One of the solutions proposed was that she talk to the father and explain to him that financial support for his family was his personal responsibility. Every individual has rights and obligations and a man has the obligation to support his family and in particular his wife, as is written in Verse 236 of Surah 2: "Bestow on them (women ) a suitable gift, the wealthy according to his means, and the poor according to his means; a gift of a reasonable amount is due from those who wish to do the right thing".

The teacher was now confident enough to talk to the father, knowing she had something of value to say to him.