Home Quranet Chapter 3 What can we say to a girl who engages in sexual relations before marriage?
What can we say to a girl who engages in sexual relations before marriage?
Chapter 3

وَمَا لَكُمْ أَلاَّ تَأْكُلُواْ مِمَّا ذُكِرَ اسْمُ اللّهِ عَلَيْهِ وَقَدْ فَصَّلَ لَكُم مَّا حَرَّمَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِلاَّ مَا اضْطُرِرْتُمْ إِلَيْهِ وَإِنَّ كَثِيراً لَّيُضِلُّونَ بِأَهْوَائِهِم بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِالْمُعْتَدِينَ (سورۃ الانعام, آية 119)

Why should ye not eat of (meats) on which Allah's name hath been pronounced, when He hath explained to you in detail what is forbidden to you, except under compulsion of necessity? But many do mislead (men) by their appetites unchecked by knowledge. Thy Lord knoweth best those who transgress (Surah 6, Verse 119).

Ramzia has a friend called Aliya, who is in a relationship with a young man without thinking about the consequences of her behavior. Ramzia has warned Aliya many times that she is liable to become pregnant and then she will face great problems. Aliya replies that she has nothing to be afraid of because she is taking precautions. Recently Aliya suggested introducing Ramzia to her boyfriend's friend. "You can have a good time together. Take it from me, it's fun. I enjoy myself and I'm not scared of anything. My boyfriend says he wants to marry me and that's why I don't have a problem about having sex with him. We'll get married in the end anyway." Ramzia is not convinced. She explains to Aliya that what she is doing is forbidden, that God sees and knows everything and "thy Lord knoweth best those who transgress." When Aliya hears the familiar verse from the Quran she is alarmed. For the first time she understands that she had exceeded the limit.

Explanation: many young people do forbidden things and are content because their parents know nothing about it. They forget that Allah sees and knows everything. They take drugs, gamble, steal and sometimes engage in pre-marital relations. Modern societies generally permit the young to engage in pre-marital sex but traditional and religious societies do not. Aliya, who lives in a traditional society, is endangering her future and perhaps even her life. The boyfriend may not keep his promise to marry her. She may be vilified for having violated family honor etc. Her conduct is very risky, bordering on self-destructive and suicidal. Perhaps Ramzia would do well to confide in the school's educational counselor or some other educational figure she trusts. That person should try to help Aliya without giving the story away to Aliya's relatives who might harm her for violating family honor. This is what the friends of young people with suicidal tendencies should do. Their tendencies should not be kept secret but should be reported to the proper educational authorities so as to help them and protect them. Aliya will be angry with Ramzia but Ramzia's actions may save her life. It is hard to give advice in such complex situations and each case should be considered separately.