Home Quranet Chapter 8 What can we say to a child who has been hurt but told not to retaliate?
What can we say to a child who has been hurt but told not to retaliate?
Chapter 8

وَالَّذِينَ صَبَرُواْ ابْتِغَاء وَجْهِ رَبِّهِمْ وَأَقَامُواْ الصَّلاَةَ وَأَنفَقُواْ مِمَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ سِرّاً وَعَلاَنِيَةً وَيَدْرَؤُونَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ السَّيِّئَةَ أُوْلَئِكَ لَهُمْ عُقْبَى الدَّارِ (سورۃ الرعد, آية 22)

Those who patiently persevere, seeking the countenance of their Lord; Establish regular prayers; spend, out of (the gifts) We have bestowed for their sustenance, secretly and openly; and turn off Evil with good: for such there is the final attainment of the (eternal) home,- (Surah 13, Verse 22)

Shifa told her mother that one of her classmates, Amal, had hit her. Her mother advised her not to hit back and to wait and see if the girl did it again. If she did it again, Shifa should talk to the teacher. A few days later, Amal asked Shifa to help her with her homework. Again Shifa asked her mother whether to help a girl who had hit her. The mother opened the Quran at Surah 13, Verse 22 and read out: "Those who patiently persevere, seeking the countenance of their Lord; Establish regular prayers; spend, out of (the gifts) We have bestowed for their sustenance, secretly and openly; and turn off Evil with good: for such there is the final attainment of the (eternal) home". "I'm referring mainly to the Quran recommendation to turn off evil with good", she explained to her daughter. Shifa decided to explain the homework to her friend and they became good friends and forget the incident. "It's all thanks to the Quran", Shifa told her mother some time later.

Explanation: parents should remember that children quarrel and then make peace. Adults often have a "long memory" which is not appropriate for their children. They keep reminding them that another child treated them badly and that they should take revenge by refusing help. But the Quran exhorts us, in many cases, not to bear a grudge and recommends that we ‘turn off evil with good'. There is a great deal of wisdom in this advice, because if the individual overcomes the urge for revenge, there is a good prospect of developing new and good relations. Revenge, on the other hand, is a vicious circle. The injured individual will want to take his revenge and there will be no end to the story. Therefore, repaying evil with good can break the vicious circle in many cases.